Wow, there are not even enough words in the English language to express how much I feel about this person, it’s like everything in my life is complete and it feels like for once in my life everything makes since. I don’t feel the need to cut or feel the need to drag out the negative in everyone/everything. It feels like my life has a whole new meaning to it. It’s incredible! I thought it was kind of soon to be getting into another relationship but I just feel so happy and so complete. I've never had that before. It’s great! I just feel like I can be myself and forget the past. It doesn’t feel like I have that constant black cloud hovering over me and I just feel like all this light has come into my life. Chris gives me something to live for and it’s amazing. I am the happiest now as I have ever been. I don’t want to be seen as a bad person because I am with him because I feel something that just amazes me and I love it. It gives me hope and something to look forward to. I am so happy I can’t stress that enough.
Okay, it never seems to amaze me that people stick there nose where it doesnt belong. Okay so I wont deny it, yes I did hurt Andrew. Was it intentional? No, it wasnt, but I had to think about myself before I could anyone else. And you know, I know that he is going to make someone very happy. We just wasnt right for one another. And yet, on the other hand...I did find someone that I could trust and someone that I dont have to worry about or anything you know. I dont have to worry about cutting or anything like that. I feel this person has helped me in a way that no one else has before. Maybe its wrong becuase him and I both just got out of a serious relationship. And I know all of you are thinking we are eachothers rebounds. But thats far from it. Not even close to being it. We have been through and experianced the same shit our whole life. I mean, I can talk to him and tell him things. And its like, I know what hes going to say before he even says it. I know Andrew is not a bad person, hes a good guy with a good heart. He just wasnt the guy for me. I know hes going to have horrible posts about me, but thats okay as well. I am just as much to blame here as anyone else. I am glad I have who I have and for once my life finally makes since...its wonderful. Thanks for reading. Later
I CAN RELATE TO THIS SONG SO MUCH ITS MY FAVORITE SONG...HOPE YOU ENJOY...ITS BIZZY BONE...DEAMONS SURROUND
* Demons surround me all the time
[Bizzy - repeat 2X] Demons surround me all the time Demons surround me all the time Now pick up your psychic line Now pick up your psychic line
[Bizzy] Nobody believes Nobody believes Nobody believes me, even my baby girl See I was raised up on that ouija in my crazy world Better take it easy [Sang] Outta my mind, outta my mind outta my mind, outta my brains, brains 7th Sign time, in a line, shine, fin to bye-bye, die die, bang bang Hit 'em with that woo-woo, and that flip-flop flown-n-low Steady as we roll Maybe you don't know, oh Get away for safety, in a coma like state, invade me Everyone say: "Hey, hey, he's crazy" Premenitions, kick pushin' daisies Wait, they chase to slay me Paranoid, mortal to the paranormal, jumpin' out portals. Kinetical energy formal in the global get warmer Mormons may mourn, may Messiahs be born, torn in the purgatory Sworn to violence, silence, word my bond Get ya story on, call me, saw me in the army gatherin' in harmony Hardly in all we be so salty
[Chorus] Demons surround me all the time Demons surround me all the time Now pick up your psychic line Now pick up your psychic line
[Bizzy] Talk to the walkin' dead, crossroads, call on the Rev., lost souls And I'm off in a coffin' tossin' my memoirs, oh no In the closet, come open the door, what do you see? A funeral Usually closest to kosher 'til I see some loved ones, don't go Get it crucial, pick up the psychic line Future to before time in the sinister mind of spiritual wicked Intertwined with weak souls, come kick it Written, rewind, get it, look out, hit it, rise Dig it, wig out, feel it, ride Mimic, die Nigga, fly Boom bye-bye. My kind in time, 7th Sign, 7th Sign (7th Sign) Time after time get mine, gon' get mine Pick up the phone line, pick up the phone line, ready for truth on the loose? Got a dime or two and I'm liable to tell you, only if you know, wooo He flew right bye you, true demons follow and resume from the womb in the tomb I fool you, boom, boom, boom B-b-b-boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom
[Bizzy - repeat 5X] Demons surround me all the time
Okay, so I told Andrew that I need time to get the shit in my life together that I need to time to worry about my self instead of having to worry about a million things at once. Well I think hes pissed but, that I cant help I need to get my life in gear before I can worry about other peoples lifes. I do still love him but I just cant deal right now :(
LOL this blog is made special for my girl Scarlette_GKPi...Okay lol I was born with a weird birth mark. My pinkys LOL I dont have the corner of my pinkys, so there for, if i let my nails grow then the nail will wrap around my pinky finger. Well not only are the corners missing, BUT they are super short, they are not of average length, if cut off at the middle knuckle, i would only have about 2 centimeters of finger left LOL AND IT DOENST STOP THERE. On my right hand...i have an extra joint in my pinky, instead of having 3 i have 4...well Scarlett this Blog was for you!! LOVE YA HUN
[Chorus] These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I can say My chick on the side said she got one on the way These are my confessions Man I'm throwed and I dont know what to do I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all Damn near cried when I got that phone call I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do But to give you part 2 of my confessions
[Verse 1] Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you 'bout that chick on part 1 I told ya'll I was creepin' with, creepin' with Said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it The first thing that came to mind was you Second thing was how do I know if it's mine and is it true Third thing was me wishin' that I never did what I did How I ain't ready for no kid and bye bye to our relationship
[Chorus] These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I can say My chick on the side said she got one on the way These are my confessions Man I'm throwed and I don't know what to do I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all Damn near cried when I got that phone call I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do But to give you part 2 of my confessions
[Verse 2] Sitting here stuck on stupid trying to figure out When, why, and how I'mma let this come out of my mouth Said it ain't gon' be easy But I need to stop thinkin', contemplatin' Be a man and get it over with (over with) I'm ridin' in my whip Racin' to her place Talkin' to myself Preparin' to tell her to her face She open up the door and didn't want to come near me I said one second baby Please hear me
[Chorus] These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I can say My chick on the side said she got one on the way These are my confessions Man I'm throwed and I don't know what to do I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all Damn near cried when I got that phone call I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do But to give you part 2 of my confessions
[Breakdown] This by far is the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do To tell you, the woman I love That I'm having a baby by a woman that I barely even know I hope you can accept the fact that I'm man enough to tell you this And hopefully you'll give me another chance This ain't about my career This ain't about my life It's about us Please
[Chorus] These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I can say My chick on the side said she got one on the way These are my confessions Man I'm throwed and I don't know what to do I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all Damn near cried when I got that phone call I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do But to give you part 2 of my confessions
Well, today hasnt been a good day...at all... I've dont pissed off Andrew and Matt both, so now who do I have? NO ONE! im guessin its okay i mean i can live my life alone right?
When Andrew and I split up (of course this is when it was the Nick thing...Andrew dont assume what isnt true) I sat in my room and listened to this song and cried for hours...I just sat there and cried and listened to this song...our 2 year anniversary is coming up on the 26 of this month...
[b]Toya Moving On[/b]
Just getting used to waking up everyday Not seeing your face I just began to stop setting your place And I stop longing for your warm embrace And it was God that made me able To finally sleep at night Though you're not by my side Finally I don't hardly cry See right when I start letting go Somebody wants to let me know Can they take your place No they can't fill your space No
I tried to move on but you're not gone Cuz in my heart you still live on See now I know why I'll never love another for the rest of my life And why Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on And deep in my heart I wanna move on And now I know why I'll never love another for the rest of my life
I finally put your cloths away You know the ones you wore the day That you were taken away from me I just began to stop wearing my ring And I finally stop playin' our song Whe I realizied I was dancin' alone and Finally God gave me strength To go on and breath again See right when I start letting go Somebody wants to let me know Can they take your place No they can't fill your space No
I tried to move on but you're not gone Cuz in my heart you still live on See now I know why I'll never love another for the rest of my life And why Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on And deep in my heart I wanna move on And now I know why I'll never love another for the rest of my life
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on And deep in my heart I wanna move on And now I know why I'll never love another for the rest of my life
God knows it's time for me to move on I want to feel alive again I want to be in love again And no matter how hard I try I can't erase you from my mind And I gotta find somebody new But I just can't give over you
I tried to move on but you're not gone Cuz in my heart you still live on See now I know why I'll never love another for the rest of my life And why Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on And deep in my heart I wanna move on And now I know why I'll never love another for the rest of my life
Yes I didnt get to bed unitl like 4:30 this morning then at 11:30 my little brother came up stairs pounding as hard as he could on my door. Im like wtf so I got up and I was like "what brandon" he said "someones outside to see you" the first thing I thought was, oh god its Eric he came by the other day why wont he just GO AWAY...so I was like "bub who is it" hes like "its Tiffany" I didnt know what he was talking about and I said "Tiffany who?" Dannys ex Tiffany. I didnt believe him so I got up and came outside and bigger than shit there she was. Tiffany with her new fucking "boy toy" for the month. I just kinda glared at her and she says "good morning lazy ass" I said NOTHING! My mom made me sit outside with her she smelled like a damn brewry. I didnt want to but i sat there and tolerated her and her damn dog and her ugly boyfriend. So then she says "Mandy we are gonna have to hang out sometime I miss hanging out with you, you was asleep the last time I came" all I could think was "yea I was asleep last time and I'll fake sleep all the future times" AHHH!! Well anyway, I was kinda short with Andrew this morning I cussed him out and I dont know why, he told he after work that he was going to the mall so I would only get to see him for like, an hour today which pisses me off because I hardly ever get to see him. And besides that, I wanted him to buy something and he told me he didnt have any money and I of course was pissed thinking "yea okay we are gonna go to the MALL with no money, give me a break!" So I called him a fucking liar and just accused him of all this shit, I mean yea, I did feel bad, but in a way I didnt because he [b]promised[/b] he would buy it and I just want him to because, well I dont know I do feel bad for blowing up on him and I do love him its just I'm pissed because he didnt get it and he used the excuse that he didnt have the money then hes going to the mall I mean come on, NO one can go to the mall to just "hang out"...maybe he isnt going to the mall, maybe he found someone better. I doubt it, but it could be possible...I'm just guessin in the puny 45 minutes I have been awake fucking sucks, maybe I should go back to bed...damn it! Oh well, if you have something to say you can drop a comment...if not then you can comment anyway LOL see ya'll later
Well, I didnt do much of anything to day except clean and hung out with Angela and Nick. This was the first time I've seen Nick since the break up like what a month ago? Well he went home around like 6 but Angela stayed here till like 1 a.m she and David are fighting or some shit I try to stay out of it. BUT Andrew is pissed at me probably because Ang, was over but I cant help it I mean, when a friend needs me I'm gonna be there for her no matter what. Andrew I'm sorry, I never told you to leave!
I dont even know where to begin. Its like, I try to do the right thing but it always ends up being the complete opposite :( tryin to help friends with there love life and losing them in the process. I havnt talked to Andrew in like three days and thats killin me. I'm done with being who I am. I'm gonna start being the pretty little girl that everyone wants me to be. I'll start wearing pink instead of black ill start painting my nails and completly change my blog around in pastales and warm fuzzy colors. I'm gonna be diffrent. Maybe then that way who knows...its a whole new me...later
girl: im bored guy: lets play a game girl: okay what game guy: the porn star game ill play the guy and you play the girl girl: *bitch slap and walk away*
IM GONNA POST SOME PICTURES OF MY NEW GOD SON/DAAUGHTER...WE DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS YET BUT WE GET TO FIND OUT THEN ILL POST THE ULTRA SOUND PICTURES UP HERE AND TELL YOU IF ITS MY GOD SON OR MY GOD DAUGHTER...MOMMA AND DADDY WANT IT TO BE A GIRL...IM HOPING FOR A GOD SON!
MOMMA (HOLLI) WITH BABY IN HER BELLY!! THIS ONE IS THE 9 WEEK ULTRA SOUND THESE TWO ARE THE 13 WEEK ULTRA SOUNDS
[b]I HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED SEEING MY GOD SON/DAUGHTER...COMMENT ON HOW HE/SHE LOOKS...IM SO EXCITIED[/b]
I LOVE ANDREW...HE ROCKS MY WORLD...LOL I DONT KNOW WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT HIM BECAUSE HE SAID I NEVER DO SO HERE I AM....WRITING ABOUT ANDREW BECAUSE I LOVE HIM :lol:
well i had a great night with mom last night. we watched a movie and i played with her hair because her head wsa hurting she hasnt been feelin to well. but we watched a movie then we was spying on the bar with binoculars. then she went to bed and i was watching TV then my sister and me stayed up till like 430 just laughing and havin fun talking about school memories and stuff we did when we was little like this one time (lol) when we was like 8 my brother had smoked and the way our house was set up his bed room went off mine and my sisters room and she came down stairs and told me she had some of my brother cigarette butts upstairs and we thought my mom was asleep so we went upstairs and was prentending like we was smoking and my mom came in our room and it was like instant reflex and we flung the butts, but we dont know where they landed...at the time it wasnt funny it was scary...but i think its cool to have my sister around we are only one year and 28 days apart...tomorrow is her 18 birthday...i dont want her to leave because i already lost my brother to NY i dont want my sister to leave either...but what has to be done will be done...:-)
Okay, NO ONEwill ever come close to my "meatloaf obession" but the runner up is Korn WOW they are an AMAZING group...im thinking of redoing my blog in Korn and Meatloaf...or just Korn because ive dont it in meatloaf before...if you have any suggestions on how to do it please let me know!
You know, I have seen/heard people talk about me. People that doesnt even know me or anything about me to turn around tell others that all I want is attention or sympathy when I guess, I am the only one that knows what really goes on in my life and I'm the only one that knows how my mind thinks and reacts to things. You know, I thought admiting I "have a problem" was the first step and that people/friends were suposed to be there to help me through it but everyone makes their judgement then turns their back on me. Then the excuses fly saying "well you dont listen...you dont want to hear the truth...you just want people to feel sorry for you" UMMM sorry to knock your socks off guys but I do listen, yes the truth scares me shit-less but I still keep it in mind and FUCK NO I dont want people to feel sorry for me. I dont want people to think that all I want is attention. I'm thinkin' I should have just never admit I have a "problem" because I knew some how people was going to judge me and treat me like shit. I would much rather live a life of lies then to live one minute of truth and I know thats wrong but its how I feel...so if your reading this and your one of the people who want to judge me instead of get to know me the do as you feel I have a right just as much as anyone else to express how I feel and stick up for what I believe in. But realize this shit, I dont want your sympathy, I dont want your "attention" if you dont like me then damn it dont talk to me...thats all I got I'm pissed... I'm out, later!! :evil:
THIS POST IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO HAVE SERVED OUR COUNTRY AND RISKED THEIR LIFE...YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING PEOPLE THE MEN AND WOMEN OF AMERICA RISKING THEIR LIFE AND FAMILYS FOR SOMETHING STUPID SUCH AS THIS WAR IS UN BELIEVEABLE...AND SCARLETTE...I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! YOUR AN AMAZING PERSON...THANK YOU ALL!!here are some Iraq pictures i bet they would never show on the news....pretty fucked up huh?
Well, I just finished watching the sixth sence ...wow...okay yea, I have seen it plenty of times before, but try watching it when your are trying to over come problems you have such as mine. Its intense... I watched the movie Thirteen last night...wow...What is with me and movies? I NEVER cry when watching a movie. The girl Tracy in Thirteen...she cut as well and her life was slipping right before her eyes, just so she would fit in. And I'm just sittin there thinkin "damn why would she do that just to fit in" then i started thinking about me and lucky I am to be escaping it before it got to far. Yea...thats about it...leave a comment
I have come to the conclusion that I can help people, I just read a really good friend of mines blog and in it he/she talks about killing themself...cutting...etc... and its like okay I dont want to see my friends die/hurt them self but if I preach to them it will make me a hypocryte. I dont know what to do i tell him/her that they dont need to do that shit and ive told them all the shit that can go wrong but they seem to let it flow through one ear and out the other it pisses me off to no end but i dont know what to do...please help me
Well, I'm not one to talk about the whole politics and shit like that because frankly, it doesn’t interest me. But last night I had this dream where I was fighting for my country but I was the only one and it was my dad and me and he just told me to run...to run as far away from there as I could...so I started to run as fast as I could and I could hear shots ringing out from all over the place and then I stopped in the middle of this field and there was people from all over the place from all these different countries running and crying begging me for help. I couldn’t figure out how all these Muslims, Arabs...you name it was coming out from no where in my country....Then when I woke up and began thinking about it I realized you know what, this fucking war is completely ridiculous. Honestly, I mean I'm AGAINST this war 110% I don’t think that we should be risking our lives over nothing. I mean yes I do see some reasoning for the war then I could argue that with 10 times the things against the war. I just wish I could send Bush a letter and just call him a dumbass. Seriously I would bleed every drop of blood I have for my country because I know how damn lucky I am to be living in America. But I would only do it for a good cause...I don’t think people should be risking their lives because ONE man has to be a complete ass. He is only trying to finish what is father started. I think Bush should be kicked out of office and I think this war needs stopped...I mean, I'm going to be 17 years old in less than a month an my sister is going to be 18 in 5 days I think we should be able to make our own decisions...if we want to fight then damn it we should but if we don’t then leave us alone fucker! I don’t know I just like to keep the political shit to myself. I don’t know what that dream meant but I think it had some meaning...I still have to figure that one out...Leave a comment on how you feel about the war...
well lets just say, i DESPISE country LOL but i must admit, this is some funny shit...CLETUS T. JUDD LOL HE MAKES FUN OF COUTRY SONGS...ANOTHER WEIRD AL EXCEPT...BETTER!!
i hate when people beg me to do shit LOL i have decided to stay you know i cant let one person justify how im gonna live my life...hell if ya dont fuckin like me...good becuase chances are i dont like your ass either...so...hot damn..im staying... :lol:
Sign of TRUE BOREDOM LOL
ANOTHER ONE FROM MY KRAZY MOMMA...I LOVE YOU GIRL DONT EVER FORGET THAT!
RAST...THANK YOU SO MUCH HUN I LOVE IT!!
FROM MY DARLING KRAZEDONE MADE SPECIAL FOR ME..THANKS GIRL I LOVE YOU!!
THIS IS THE DARLING CODY PLEASE CHECK OUT HIS ADPTION PAGE...
ANOTHER ONE FROM MY KRAZY MOMMA...I LOVE YOU GIRL DONT EVER FORGET THAT!
RAST...THANK YOU SO MUCH HUN I LOVE IT!!
FROM MY DARLING KRAZEDONE MADE SPECIAL FOR ME..THANKS GIRL I LOVE YOU!!
THIS IS THE DARLING CODY PLEASE CHECK OUT HIS ADPTION PAGE...
